I never thought I would be this lonely since I realized that I can't have a male partner for the rest of my life. I've watched gay films that show what gay life would be like. Although I'm closeted, many people noticed that I don't act like a straight guy and I want to disprove that. But it's no easy 'coz I'm really what their thinking of. I feel so ashamed of my self every time they make me feel that I'm different. I feel very sad everytime I see handsome guys because I wished to have that face too so I can find another guy that will love me. Though I don't really see people through their physical appearance ('Coz my first love is not that handsome), it's just a normal feeling of insecurity.
I'm one of the famous students in our school. They see me as an intelligent and talented person. (I know some of them has a hint of my sexuality) But I'm afraid that if they learned about my secret, it will ruin the name of our family (especially, most people respect our family for having a good background). I just thought to myself that I shouldn't have been born gay.
2 comments:
How are you now?Still sad for being gay?
have you really accepted your preference?
if they won't be able to accept it, leave it as such, wala naman na tayong magagawa sa pananaw ng iba, what's important is that you should be able to accept yourself
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